Although this thread is nothing but a joke, I will be serious here.
I still insist that you should convince Simon to give you server access before it's too late. What if something bad happened to him and caused him to never come back ever again? don't expect his spirit to magically appear out of nowhere and give you server access, it would just be a matter of time before TPT vanishes forever.

Let's say that happened, but thankfully a brand new server was made for TPT, would *all* old TPT users move to the new server? how many saves would be lost? how much time would it take to recreate a non-broken version of the current TPT website?

Try spamming his mail box with tons of emails, try sending him paper letters, last time it was done it worked somehow. When I asked him to fix the email bug and made sure I don't annoy him a lot he didn't fix it, but when @mniip annoyed him until he fixed it he did.

I don't think I'm supposed to be talking about all of that, but I don't think a useful suggestion is bad.